the minute my cutest and forever so bubbly friend saw me, she went: omg geraldine, i almost couldn't recognise me. why you eat so much?!
since young, i have never had issues with the way i looked and how heavy or light i was
it was only recently, that i became so obsessed with the way i looked
society's fault, and of course because everyone around me were obsessed with the way they looked too
i guess it all started when my girlfriends started to comment how fat they looked, how pretty they wanna be blah blah
and i have to be honest, even though i wasn't considered pretty in seconday school(now when i looked at my sec pics), i think i was pretty confident about myself
and now, with all the attention given to me, i realised i seem to lack the confidence i used to possess
and yup, i binged, i guess this has become a habit?
im sick of complaining to my boyfriend too
everytime when i meet him, i will complain to him about how fat i am now
and when i used to be underweight, i don't complain,
BUT everyone will be complaining to me about how skinny i have become
their fault
and then i will eat so much to make myself gain weight, even when i am full to the brim, i will eat because i wanna gain weight
and now i am so afraid i will become overweight
fuck fuck fuck
never have i thought i will become fat
but now i really am becoming fat
the big F
screw my life
and i hate this society
and i hate how everyone is so obssessed with being thin and skinny
fat is beautiful too aint it
f this insecurity
I think my biggest flaw is my insecurity. I'm terribly insecure. I'm plagued with insecurities 24/7.
-Madonna Ciccone
No comments:
Post a Comment